

Brexit – Upgoer 5
Upgoer 5 is a description of a Saturn 5 rocket created by xkcd.com artist Randall Munroe. See here: For this, he uses a vocabulary that consists of no more than ‘ten hundred’ words. The following piece uses no more than … Continue reading Brexit – Upgoer 5

Essex
I write as both father and son of Essex girls. Neither of them conforms to the popular stereotype. Neither has hair extensions, neither is superficial, vain, or promiscuous. Neither works in a nail salon. They are Essex girls only in … Continue reading Essex

SaSie
So apparently there’s now an app to agree not to rape your partner. It’s called ‘Sasie’ and according to reports, ‘the app is meant to be a legally binding contract between two adults who are agreeing to have a sexual … Continue reading SaSie

Burkini Fuss
PC LePlanc: Excuse me madam, I’ve had reports that you may be wearing a bra. Is this correct? Allouette: I beg your pardon? PC LePlanc: A bra, or brassiere, as I believe they may be called. It’s an undergarment, commonly … Continue reading Burkini Fuss

Floored
It didn’t really need the Virgin video footage disproving his claim that there was nowhere to sit on a Virgin Train from London to Newcastle to prove him a humbug, if you didn’t already suspect that. All that was necessary was to ponder these two sentences: ‘Is it fair that I should upgrade my ticket whilst others who might not be able to afford such a luxury should have to sit on the floor? It’s their money I would be spending after all.’ Continue reading Floored

Sexual Risk
Imagine some futuristic dystopian state where permission must be sought from the authorities if you plan to have sex. You’ll remember that in George Orwell’s 1984 Julia and Winston have to sneak away to an unpoliced proletarian hideout in order … Continue reading Sexual Risk

Leaving Eunace
UNWIN: Eunace, I have decided. I want a divorce. EUNACE: Are you serious? UNWIN: I’m not sure. EUNACE: What? UNWIN: What do you mean, what? EUNACE: You want a divorce, but you’re not sure? UNWIN: Well, I’m 52 percent sure. … Continue reading Leaving Eunace

Broken
Baldrick: That’s not true, Lord Nelson’s got a vote! Blackadder: He’s got a boat, Baldrick! Is our democracy broken? The suspicion that there is something wrong with British politics long predates the recent Brexit referendum result. The result itself has … Continue reading Broken

Remains
A: Wait, wait. What? Q: You heard. Don’t get all like that about it. A: You can’t be serious! After all that you’ve said? Q: I am. I think. A: But people have been supporting you, agreeing with you, swayed … Continue reading Remains

Sovereignty
I’m going to leap into the sovereignty thing, because people are saying things about it that I think are missing the point, or are based on misunderstandings or misleadings (a word I’ve just invented). For me, it is the most … Continue reading Sovereignty