You know what? What? I’m really happy. What? You know. Don’t you sometimes think that you should just come out and say it? I mean, we don’t give ourselves the chance do we? Just to say it. I am happy. … Continue reading How to be happy in a sad, sad world
A: Mummy, who’s Donald Trump? B: Oh dear… A: Is he like Donald Duck? B: Well, not quite… A: Like Donald Duck, but a trump instead of a duck. B: You know we don’t say ‘trump’ darling, we say ‘popple’. … Continue reading Mummy, who is Donald Trump?
Scenario: You got a job. It’s a good job. It has a house that goes with it. You live in it rent free. You get paid well. You’re glad you get paid well. You don’t know quite what it is … Continue reading Palace
PC LePlanc: Excuse me madam, I’ve had reports that you may be wearing a bra. Is this correct? Allouette: I beg your pardon? PC LePlanc: A bra, or brassiere, as I believe they may be called. It’s an undergarment, commonly … Continue reading Burkini Fuss
UNWIN: Eunace, I have decided. I want a divorce. EUNACE: Are you serious? UNWIN: I’m not sure. EUNACE: What? UNWIN: What do you mean, what? EUNACE: You want a divorce, but you’re not sure? UNWIN: Well, I’m 52 percent sure. … Continue reading Leaving Eunace
A: Wait, wait. What? Q: You heard. Don’t get all like that about it. A: You can’t be serious! After all that you’ve said? Q: I am. I think. A: But people have been supporting you, agreeing with you, swayed … Continue reading Remains
A: Right, that’s it. I’ve just about had it with Cameron. B: What’s up now? A: Calling Nigeria and Afghanistan corrupt. He can talk. B: He was talking to the Queen at the time. A: No, I mean … Continue reading Fantastic
Regiphilius: (waving banner) God save Her Madge! Pandemocratis: You don’t even believe in God. Reg: That’s not the point. Pan: She’s just a woman. An old woman, at that. Reg: I know that. Pan: Why should she reign over us? … Continue reading Queen