A:          Mummy, who’s Donald Trump?

B:           Oh dear…

A:          Is he like Donald Duck?

B:           Well, not quite…

A:          Like Donald Duck, but a trump instead of a duck.

B:           You know we don’t say ‘trump’ darling, we say ‘popple’.

A:          Is he though?

B:           Not really darling, Donald Duck is a cartoon character. Donald Trump is real.

A:          Then why is he on television so much?

B:           It’s because he’s the President.

A:          Can I have a present?

B:           President, darling, president.

A:          …

B:           …

A:          What’s a president?

B:           Well, he’s a bit like our queen.

A:          Is he a lady?

B:           Well, no, perhaps that’s a bad analogy.

A:          What’s an allergy?

B:           Okay, he’s the closest thing that the Americans have to a king. Except that he wasn’t born to it, he was elected.

A:          He’s electric?

B:           Elected. That means people voted for him. They chose him.

A:          Like when I choose sweets in the shop?

B:           Yes. Yes, exactly like that. And you know that sometimes I tell you that you shouldn’t choose toffees because they will make your teeth get holes in, even though you think toffee is what you want?

A:          I don’t really like toffee anymore, but I do like chocolate. Can I have some chocolate?

B:           Well, the people chose Donald Trump, and they should have chosen someone who wasn’t going to be bad for them.

A:          Is he bad then?

B:           Well, no one’s all bad, darling, there is good in everyone.

A:          Oh, good. Now can I have some chocolate?

B:           It’ll be tea time soon, darling.

A:          So why does Daddy call him all those bad names?

B:           Daddy doesn’t mean it, darling.

A:          He used the f-word the other day.

B:           That was a mistake. Daddy never uses the f-word normally.

A:          Only when he’s talking about Donald Trump.

B:           Okay, let me tell you about Donald Trump. He’s very, very rich.

A:          Like Angela?

B:           Even richer than Angela. And he always says he’s the best at everything.

A:          Oh, just like Angela.

B:           No…well, yes, actually, just like Angela.

A:          I don’t like her when she does that. It’s boasting. Boasting is bad, isn’t it?

B:           Usually, darling, yes. And especially when you’re supposed to have some gravitas.

A:          …

B:           …

A:          Like we sometimes have at IKEA?

B:           No, darling. It means you’re supposed to be someone people can respect. Like the headmistress at your school.

A:          What, Mandy? I like her, she’s fun.

B:           Oh, maybe not like that then.  But it isn’t just the boasting. He tells fibs.

A:          (shocked) He fibs?

B:           Yes. Almost all the time, in fact.

A:          But that’s very naughty!

B:           Well, yes it is.

A:          At school, Mandy tells us in assembly that we mustn’t ever, ever, ever, ever, tell fibs.

B:           Well, that’s right, darling, you mustn’t.

A:          So why does the Present tell fibs? Is it because he’s like a king, and can do what he wants?

B:           Yes, I think it is. Well, I think he thinks he can do what he wants.

A:          Can’t he?

B:           No. There’s supposed to be a separation of the powers in the American Constitution.

A:          …

B:           I mean…

A:          But if he can’t do what he wants, who is going to stop him doing it?

B:           …

A:          If he’s the King, he’s the strongest, isn’t he, and he’ll have people who like him all around him, and no one will be able to do anything about his fibbing.

B:           Well, he has already been told he can’t just do what he wants.

A:          Who told him that?

B:           A judge.

A:          One of those funny people with wigs that that other lady was getting cross about?

B:           Theresa May. Yes. Only I don’t think the American ones wear wigs.

A:          What did he want to do?

B:           The judge?

A:          No, Donald Trump, silly.

B:           Oh, he – look do you really want to know all this?

A:          Tell me.

B:           He said that people from some countries couldn’t come to his country.

A:          Like when you told me off because I didn’t want Amber or Rhys or Saffron to come to my party and you said we had to invite everyone in my class.

B:           Well – I suppose it was a bit like that.

A:          But Sarah and Emily didn’t come anyway, and neither did Rhys because he said it was a girls’ party.

B:           It was still nice to invite them. And it would have been very nasty to say that anyone wasn’t allowed to come.

A:          So why didn’t he want people coming to his country?

B:           Should we look at something on the iPad?

A:          Tell me!

B:           He was worried that they might be bad people.

A:          What sort of bad people?

B:           People who were going there to do bad things.

A:          Why did he think that? Is it because people from those countries had done bad things before?

B:           Erm…. No, actually, none of them had.

A:          But that’s silly!

B:           People told him that if someone was going to do something bad in his country, it would probably be from one of those countries.

A:          …

B:           …

A:          That’s still silly.

B:           That’s what the judge said.

A:          So the judge told him off and said he couldn’t do it?

B:           Yes.

A:          That’s good.

B:           …

A:          Mummy?

B:           Yes, darling.

A:          I don’t think I like Donald Trump.

B:           Well, you don’t need to worry about him, darling.

A:          I don’t like fibbers. He won’t come here to our country and tell fibs, will he?

B:           Well, Theresa May has asked him to come to have tea with the Queen.

A:          (horrified) But he might tell fibs to the Queen!

B:           I think he might.

A:          But she’s very old, she might believe his fibs!

B:           Oh, she’s far too clever for that.

A:          I hope so. What if he tricks her into selling the country to him? Is he richer than the Queen?

B:           (thinks) Erm, yes, I think he is.

A:          I really don’t think we should let him come.

B:           Shall we make a placard darling?

A:          What’s a placard?