Brexit – Upgoer 5

Upgoer 5 is a description of a Saturn 5 rocket created by xkcd.com artist Randall Munroe.
See here:

For this, he uses a vocabulary that consists of no more than ‘ten hundred’ words. The following piece uses no more than that vocabulary, except for the words ‘Britain’ and ‘Brexit’.

After the last fight between big lands, which was more than four tens years ago, some of the big lands got together and said that they should give and take to each other in a way that meant that no one had to pay more. This helped them to get better after the big fight, and other lands saw that it was a good thing. They also wanted to be part of the group of big lands, and it started to be about more than just give and take and not pay more.
The four-big-lands land was called Britain (Which is where we get the ‘br’ bit from) and it decided to join the group of big lands. But all the people of four-big-lands said you can’t do that without asking us, so they asked them, and they still said yes. The group-of-big-lands was very glad to have four-big-lands join it, because four-big-lands had much money. Four-big-lands was pleased to join the group-of-big-lands because it did not have as much money as group-of-big-lands thought, and it made it easier to do give and take with all the big lands in the group, and other far away lands would do their give and take with the group through four-big lands, which was good.

Now, the group of big lands had four free things, which they said were very important, and they were these: give and take in all lands, do and take in all lands, go and live in all lands, and move money in all lands. The people of four-big-lands didn’t like this as much as they should have done. Four-big-lands had water all around it, which meant two things: they did not know whether to trust people from other lands, and they weren’t as used to people from other lands as the other lands were. Some of the things that the group of lands wanted Four-big-lands to do seemed wrong, like telling them that the stuff they wanted to give and take had to be a made in one way or they couldn’t give and take them. Four-big-lands people thought they were big and important, and had helped end the last big fight for the better, and that it hadn’t been so that people from other lands could come and tell them what they could and couldn’t do. Lots of people in four-big-lands started to think that joining the group of lands was not such a great idea in the first place, and they should not get any more fixed into it than they already were.
The top people in four-big-lands asked for more and more good things from the group of lands, and usually got them, because they were big and had lots of money which they were giving to the group of lands.

When the group of lands decided that they would all use the same numbers for their give and take, four-big-lands decided it would not. Other lands also decided that they would not. Another thing it decided not to get fixed into was to let people come and go into the land without at least having a come-and-go-book. Lots of other lands did decide to let that happen, so that if someone got into one of them, they were free to go to any of the other such lands without anyone checking or knowing.

Lots of the lands who used the same numbers for give and take found that it did not help them. A bad thing happened to give and take all over the world, and some of the lands found that they now had very little money and people did not know what to do. The group of big lands said that they must not spend money and must wait a long time until they had more money to spend, and they said that it was not good for them.

Other bad things happened in the far away lands which meant that many of the people living in some of them wanted to come to live in the group of big lands; sometimes this was because they wanted a better life, and sometimes it was because they thought they would die if they stayed where they were. They started landing in some of the lands which had no money, which happened to be the best lands for them to come to, and those lands did not know what to do. They could not just keep the new people there, because there were too many of them. Some of the other lands said they must stay where they land. One land said that they could all come to live there.
Because of ‘ go and live in all lands ‘, many of the lands were worried that the out-people would come and live in their land. Four-big-lands had many people who were anyway worried about lots of people coming to live in their land, because lots of people did each year. But many other people lived and worked with those people, and didn’t mind because they knew that they were all right.

The man who wanted to be the one who said what happened to four-big-lands said to the people that if they let him, then he would let everyone have a chance to say if they thought four-big-lands should stay in the group of lands. He did not have to do this, but he did. They let him be the one, and he gave them the chance.
There was a long boring time when everyone was lying to try to get other people to say the same as them. People promised money they did not have, people scared them with things no one knew about.

Then the day came when everyone said what they wanted. Four-big-lands was a land which did not like change very much, and every one thought that they would not decide to leave the group of big lands. They were nearly right. Nearly half of the people decided they would like to stay in the group of big lands. But slightly more than half decided that they would like to leave.

Now all the people who wanted to stay hate the people who wanted to leave, and the people who wanted to leave hate the people who wanted to stay, and the new person who says what happens, isn’t saying what’s going to happen, but just says ‘Brexit is Brexit’.

And that’s what Brexit is.

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